A tale of two strippers and Mr. Innocent-PART 2

I got really angry. If sex is what they want then sex is what they will get. I looked for her stripper friend and slept with her that night, and the next and the one after that. Then I sent her a message and told her “I have banged your friend.” That’s when my life started turning into a real circus.

Let’s call stripper ‘A’ Nyams and stripper ‘B’ Kish. (who were both like 2 years older than myself). So Nyams informs me that although she’s living with another man she doesn’t want me sleeping with another woman but I had already moved in with Kish although my relationship with Kish was more like roommates with benefits and she knew I really loved Nyams who by the way she always knew was playing me along but a sister had to be loyal. Kish had a broken moral compass. Drama played itself out and after a couple of months my relationship with Kish became official and according to worldly demands I made sure I sealed it with daily sex.

All was well until one day Kish and Nyams and another friend got a stripping gig somewhere in Kiisi (South West Kenya). It was just the three of them so I joined them and I was the only man with them. Kish was sharing a room with Nyams so when I got there we got ourselves (me and Kish) our own room. She tells me how I have really brought a lot of bad blood between her and Nyams and that I should go talk to her and buy her a drink just to clear everything.

I didn’t want to but because Kish insisted I did it. I went down to the restaurant and found Nyams and what’s the first thing she said? “I still love you Don!” At this point I don’t know whether she’s pulling my leg or not and I didn’t know what to do or say. (Luckily I had gotten over my exercise book throwing impulses. I was a much cooler man albeit still confused). We chatted and our chat ran into more than an hour and I had ordered some vodka. Now Kish comes down finds us having a lively chat over vodka and she gets upset. I don’t understand women… you ask me to go talk to your friend and buy her a drink then get mad when I do just that? Apparently i was supposed to have a friendly chat with her but not look so happy about it and the drink wasn’t supposed to be such a nice vodka. So Kish storms off clearly upset and Nyams can’t help but feel a sense of victory. Women are so competitive they can fight over something none of them want. So I leave Nyams at the restaurant and go to find Kish in the room. Now fellow men allow me to give you some advice, if you upset a woman and she keeps quiet without confronting you she is plotting revenge.

Later that night they performed a half hour dance show after which we went to chill at the bar. Kish decides to get her revenge by getting drunk and starting to get touchy with some Somali guys. It’s bad when you hear the sounds and giggles of a group of men getting excited over your girl but it’s worse when it’s in Somali. Somalis are not discreet when they talk. They are just loud and it’s as if they were rubbing it in. I confront Kish and ask her to behave herself. She reacts by drinking some more and now she starts giving everyone from Puntland a free lap dance. I was livid. Mind you she was not working, we were guests in a hotel somewhere and she’s acting like this. This carried on until about 3 am. So we head back to our room and we had a small fight. Kish who is now very drunk is spitting on the floor every two minutes. It was disgusting I asked her to stop. She refused to listen and continued. Then the lady steps on her own spit slides and knocks her head on the floor. She starts crying and blames me, then kicks me out of our room and locks me out at 3 am in the morning.

Kish and Nyams had traveled with another stripper friend of theirs but she was more mature. So I ask her if I can sleep on a couch in her room. Just then Nyams comes from the corner a little tipsy and says, “I can’t believe that you can dare ask another person for help while I’m here. I know you’re with Kish now but that doesn’t mean that I can’t help you if you need it. Let’s go to my room.” “And I was like, “Okay.” In her room I set myself on the chair. And she’s like, “Come on Don. Don’t pretend we’re strangers. No need for you to be uncomfortable just get in bed.” So the innocent me gets in bed ready to sleep.

At this point she got up and said she needed to use the bathroom. Lo! and behold! She comes out naked and gets into bed holds her hands behind her head such that her breasts are BAM! Right in my face staring at me. I got a mini seizure. Just then there was someone banging on the door. It was Kish! “Don, are you in there? Come out now!” Nyams told me to keep quiet. Good lord I was tired and I needed to sleep, so I decided to keep quiet. Kish gave up on knocking and I heard her walk away crying. I wanted to go bembeleza her but I had had enough drama for the day and I didn’t know how to even start explaining what I wasn’t doing with a hot naked woman in bed.

Thank God Nyams was also drunk. In the silence we kept so that Kish would go away she fell asleep and I escpaed without having any sexy time with Nyams. I woke up early before Nyams and went to my room with Kish whose head had now cooled down. So I got reconciling and cuddling with Kish just then Nyams stormed into our room.

She was upset when she woke up and found that I had escaped. She decided to just spoil everything for me when she announced, “Hey, Don here’s your phone. You left it in my bed when you slept with me.” Then she walked out. It’s like she just came in to drop a bomb and left.

That was the day we were traveling back to Nairobi. For the rest of the journey home and the next few months I had to defend my innocence and explain how sleeping with Nyams was literally sleeping, snoring sleeping, and not the otherwise non-sleep-like activity.

Kish also ended up playing me. Last time I heard from them they had gone international and were somewhere in Europe or Asia or something in between. It was around Christmas and they fought and Kish broke Nyams’s tooth. They said that it was related to their age old beef that involved me. Who knows, I don’t understand why you would fight over a man you both played and left. That was the day I decided no more strippers for me.