Nationalism; Who gives a rat’s tail about that, the cat or the rat?

Why bother with Nationalism sijui Patriotism when the master’s tool (i.e divide and conquer) has served and sustained the master’s interests? The master divides us into tribes, sub-tribes, countless districts then he turns around and demands patriotism.

Try scooping spilt milk off a floor. And for what? What if Nationalism means me losing my benefits as a tiny colony within the Banana Republic? Here’s how some rat and a friendly cat tried to fry their brains musing about how to dismantle the master’s house. Using the masters tools, of course.

Perhaps these cocoons are what can give. If only at an appointed opportune time all these tiny
groups broke out into some kind of uncontrollable din catapulting the master into a spin. A dizzying spin that the master’s ever sly, convenient technic of dealing with everyone on a one by one basis couldn’t possibly contain.

Perhaps we ought not to sneer at those with open palms, those who occasionally dance themselves limbless when a coin is dropped in their pockets; the praise singers who like everyone else can’t afford the luxury of having their lifeless bodies flown to Uganda from Kenyan hospitals; those who are ferried to the State House and dined just so Mbabazi’s ambiguous presidential ambitions are defeated––return to the countryside where their children study under the dreary and dancing light from tadoobas.

Let’s not mock the ‘sleepy’ yellow boys and girls. Let’s empower them to ask for more. Where they are giving 500 shillings. They ought to ask for 2000 shillings instead of accepting a Tumpeco of sugar we say, FREE sugar to last a presidential term. How about haggle during this business of ballot buying like we do when we are buying stuff from the sexual intimacy entrepreneurs.

Hold on. Now this is a bit complicated. I can’t figure who gets the better deal as a result. Point is, haggle. Set terms and conditions. If in the end we get screwed––well there’s that.

(Wince) Oh dang I forgot the beggar has no choice. What if NRM or even President Museveni is
the beggar here?


MASTER?: President Yoweri Museveni

You know that tired statement that goes “all those who hate democracy should go look for plots elsewhere?” I am beginning to think the president means well. Here’s a positive that can come out of us emigrating say, to China. We go to China, ditch our citizenship, return to Uganda eventually as I don’t know what, ‘investors.’

And then voila! we qualify for tax breaks just like all the helpless investors we get who come to do business with little or no capital.

Here’s the funny thing that I heard this week. Which becomes a question in three parts:

“So, Retired Colonel Dr. Kiiza Besigye left all the guns and soldiers in army barracks to wage
campaigns and even talk of waging a war that eventually ‘can’ ouster President Museveni and
you expect ‘me’ to listen to him?”


SHOULD HE BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY? Former Presidential Contender and NRM deserter Rtd. Col. Dr. Kiiza Besigye

Now the exam: (a) Rephrase the question by replacing Retired Colonel Dr. Kiiza Besigye with General David Ssejusa. Also, incorporate bites from the statement the latter issued at the beginning of his self-exile.


Another NRM deserter General David Sejusa


(b) The problem with every excitable politician waiting to follow NRM deserters is not wanting power as much as those who want it have made it clear. Re-write starting with a question mark.

(c) At the end of this seemingly crystal clear NRM season, what is the possibility that NRM might defeat itself and return as itself?

There is no point in adding substance to Mbabazi’s indecisiveness.


THE GODLY DOCTOR: Dr. Aggrey Kiyingi hopes to challenge President Museveni next year

Dear Dr. Aggrey Kiyingi:

I heard you put your life in the hands of God ahead of the 2016 madness?! God has no business in these things. True, all authority comes from God, but you are going to be dealing with President Museveni. President Museveni, a man not of God, but a god.

A man who can go to church and sit at a vantage position that allows him to face the congregation. Remember 1 John 5:19… “…but the whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one.”

But who said there will be an election? Census was postponed. Then it happened, but most
Ugandans were not counted. I can’t ably speculate about the numbers in the event that the results
were announced on a day I was flat out drunk.

And while we are on that, I beg someone to share a PDF version of their National Identity card before I run my mouth. Sometimes even a fool knows better.

Regarding the totalitarian move by parliament that means seasoned journalists are barred from
covering parliamentary proceedings: all the arguments, suspicions and accusations standing, we
don’t have journalists qualified to take over from the ‘seasoned’ scribes?! To me that is a clear
sign that in Uganda no one has plan B. No one. Everyone just like our beloved former Kampala
mayor has one master plan. That is, plan A listed three times. And we are busy prepping for 2016
All due respect to the gentlemen mentioned herein.
#slownewsday #wherearethenudeleaks #mypornsiteisnotresponding