Will you teach me your love language?

Emotions have never been my thing not that I don’t feel them but most times I don’t know how to show them so I thought! I was raised by a military man who has a strange way of showing his love and other emotions that we expect from our parents.

I don’t remember him ever hugging me but I know one thing for sure that I am a treasure in his life, I was given whatever I wanted if it was available. Caned when I did wrong but this only happened two times, the first time I left school and went to play with my friends at a nearby theatre “Exclesior” instead of waiting for the person that had come to pick me and take me back home.

That is a day I will never forget in my life, I got back home at about 7pm and found a small crowd discussing me, elegantly with a smile in my dirty uniform I walked towards them and passed on my greetings. I have never seen my Uncle so mad, without wasting time and words with me, he sent me in to get the cane that he had bought purposely for me it was standing majestically in the corner behind the door.

Hehehehe you should have seen me shake, pleading got me nowhere, I lay down on the ground and received my canes of course with other punishments that followed like washing my uniform myself. The second time I was caned wasn’t my fault but my older sister’s she had done something and instead of punishing her they punished me, this made me so mad that I had to ask why a few days later and the answer I got baffled me. My uncle told me that he had punished me so that I would never do it, I didn’t understand it then but now I do.

Freedom of expression was one of the things that I was taught while growing up but this did not mean that I force my opinions onto others but be able to listen to others as well. I got a lesson on listening, observing how my Uncle did his things. At no point did he ever come to a conclusion about something or someone without doing his research, he always felt that everybody deserved a chance and he saw something good in everyone.

I was later to learn that love had many languages physical touch, service, words of affirmation, quality time and gifts. To be honest with you I found this silly at first until I watched the behavior patterns of some of the people in my life that I understood what this meant. My uncle’s love language is service, he is there whenever you call on him in your greatest time of need. When I realised this I stopped being mad about not getting hugs as I had watched in movies.

After understanding the different types of love languages out there I started to discover myself, I am not a physical person maybe my culture contributes to this too am not sure but I know one thing I am not a touchy person. I am very particular when it comes to hugging that most people feel offended but the honest truth is I learnt these hugging things quite late in my life, when greeting in my culture (I am a mutoro princess towakana) we kneel for our elders so when people get all huggy I tend to offer my hand most times. To me hugs are very personal and they shouldn’t be dished out like irish potatoes that are readily available in Kabale . So for me to hug you it must mean something, I will not go around hug hugging just for the sake.

I am a cocktail of love languages if I may call it that I think I have a taste of each but let me remind you again I am not a hugger. Not many children have a chance for their lives to be impacted by different characters. One of my favourite aunties is a gift person, she loves giving gifts and receiving them too and so do I.I treasure things that I am given even if it were a stone I would keep it, for me it’s all about the thought and I do give them just as much as I enjoy receiving them, are you getting any clues? Hehehehe!

I am a server, when you call on me I will be there even when I am not in a position to help you at least I will come up with all sorts of ideas so that your issue is sorted. Some of my friends complain that I take over their homes when they invite me especially as far as the kitchen is concerned although they never complain when the food is finally ready. You know!

Words are my thing, I like to think, let me brag a bit at no point has a friend ever come to me feeling down and I have failed to lift their spirits. I don’t consider myself a talkative person but I admit that I have words for any situation that I find myself in even if it means acting my way out of it hehe!

I remember this one time I was gallivanting at some bar in Ntinda, a Kampala Suburb, and I said some awful things to some guy so he got so mad and told his friend who was a friend of mine that I had insulted him. In that moment I saw my life, I was not going to be embarrassed for this one time I had been mean to someone who didn’t deserve it. So I decided i was better off denying that such harsh things had come out of mouth, my acting claws had come out and to work I went, it wasn’t a good thing that I made the poor fella look like a liar, but I had no choice but to ‘misuse’ my gift.

Each of us has a love language and I have also learnt that we make the choice to use it for good or evil, what is your love language?